Well its been almost two weeks since my epiphany and decision to write a bucket list.
I was kind of hoping my whole outlook and attitude would simply change overnight and life would become full and rich and exciting immediately. Did I mention I'm very impatient??
I realised yesterday just how ingrained my fear and lack of joy has become. There was a Facebook post by a guy I went to school congratulating his wife on making a representative side for touch football. I immediately thought to myself "how stupid is that? What's the point - it's not like she's going to make the Olympics. And she's in her mid 30's for christ's sake. Hasn't she left it a bit late to be sports star??". That thought was quickly followed by another "uh helloooo maybe she's doing it because she really enjoys it. You know - joy, fun? Remember those things you bitter old cow?"
It was then I realised I need to make a conscious and sustained effort to get my shit together and change my attitude - stat!
So I started my bucket list. It wasn't that easy because every time I came up with something my inner critic would say "what's the point of that?" Or "you can't afford to do that" or "thousands of people want to do that, what makes you think you'll succeed where they've failed?" (I really don't like that bitch!) Anyway despite the voice I've put pen to paper (or fingers to iPad) and started my list.
So here goes:
Learn to sing (and perform a in public)
Learn to dance
Learn to play an instrument
Paint a beautiful picture
Act in a play
Write a book
So there it is - or at least the start of it. I'm hoping to continue to add to it (and even tick some off) soon.
I was kind of hoping my whole outlook and attitude would simply change overnight and life would become full and rich and exciting immediately. Did I mention I'm very impatient??
I realised yesterday just how ingrained my fear and lack of joy has become. There was a Facebook post by a guy I went to school congratulating his wife on making a representative side for touch football. I immediately thought to myself "how stupid is that? What's the point - it's not like she's going to make the Olympics. And she's in her mid 30's for christ's sake. Hasn't she left it a bit late to be sports star??". That thought was quickly followed by another "uh helloooo maybe she's doing it because she really enjoys it. You know - joy, fun? Remember those things you bitter old cow?"
It was then I realised I need to make a conscious and sustained effort to get my shit together and change my attitude - stat!
So I started my bucket list. It wasn't that easy because every time I came up with something my inner critic would say "what's the point of that?" Or "you can't afford to do that" or "thousands of people want to do that, what makes you think you'll succeed where they've failed?" (I really don't like that bitch!) Anyway despite the voice I've put pen to paper (or fingers to iPad) and started my list.
So here goes:
Learn to sing (and perform a in public)
Learn to dance
Learn to play an instrument
Paint a beautiful picture
Act in a play
Write a book
So there it is - or at least the start of it. I'm hoping to continue to add to it (and even tick some off) soon.
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